My Long Road To My Major In Tech Mangement @SPC

I have been thinking and debating about doing this blog it took 2 days to think about on how to write this blog oh well here goes and I am sorry in advance this will be uncut and uncensored to my readers and sorry for the foul language. Here goes it all started in the public school system I can remembered that we was all taught that we can be anything we wanted when we grow up in life, but in my case that was not only a lie, but it nearly stop my college career before it begins. I can remember that the so called teachers told me that," I was only going to be a greeter boy in my working career. So when I ask my teacher in grade school I want to be in the computer field when I grow up she immediately dismissed it and not only that she called me a "fucking retarded boy who wasn't amount to shit." Mind you I was in elementary school a little black kid so as I grow a little older so they school teachers along with their quack psychologists told me that I was going to Special ED or ESE I didn't know what ESE was, but over the course of my public school I found out the hard way.

I felt I was I was in a prison no way to escape sure the homework was very basic and rudimentary, but the classmates were crazy and have mental issues, now I am not saying that Special ED does not have a place in the school system, but it is reserve for the kids who really need it not the ones that do not need it. As I was saying the classes I was assigned to were separated from the rest of the school and my classmates . I was mocked, scorned,laughed at,and etc by not only by my non-special ed classmates, but by the teachers as well. I was kinda of feeling alone and felt hopeless no one listened to me in the school system, I do have a supporting family and some teachers who knew that I did not belong in the ESE program my family and teachers saw my potential to became great and helped me achieved my goals. Looking back in hindsight I should never been in the ESE program in the first place and yes I was sheltered from the harsh and cold world I had a rose cover view of the world at one time. I can remember one of my teachers(bad) told me that," I was a experiment and you are our cash crop." But it all became clear when I was in my junior and senior year at high school as you know you got to take an enterance exam before you going into Pinellas Techincal Education Center({PTEC) so I have pass the test with flying colors I wanted to be a computer technician as a trade college was the far from my mind nor it was on the blip on my radar at the time.

So then this quack, dumb ass, and piece of shit white male psychologist was doing a fucking psych evaluation on me in my high school I find it odd why the fuck are you doing a evaluation on me before I make the transition to PTEC so he was asking all this weird ass stuff making me complex math problems I never known and having a hard time doing them he was just writing down his notes to send to my ESE guidance conselors and then after the we was finish he said to me was," It looks like your going to the PTEC transition program next year." I said to myself finally I am going to great a trade as a computer technician  and have a career in computers even with a regular high school diploma and my mind it was cool it least I can support my family or so I thought. On May the 17th of 2006 I have graduated from high school everyone was happy for me that I have gotten my diploma I walked across the stage with my high school diploma and took a picture with my principal. Not only that I was taking pictures and selfies with my classmates chanting," 06,06,06 G High for life." Man I am going to miss my classmates some are going into the military and others are going to big time colleges and universities everyone was being productive and proud for the fruits of their labor for the past 4 years of high school and the hard work paid of well with our cap and gowns.

3 months later I was exited to go to PTEC for the 1st time and tackle my career in computer as a computer technician I was given a tour of PTEC as new student the people who was giving the tour for me when want to cafe' for lunch. What they said to me was shocking and disappointing they said," You are not going to have a career in computers." I said,"What do you mean I thought that was my career option." they said," Nope we have read the report the psychologist and under his recommendations and your diploma you are going to the Transitions program." I asked," What is that?" The two black women said," Oh you did not know the Transitions program is an ESE program you love it there." Remember at the time I thought this program on what my teachers were telling on at the time if you make into the Transitions program you have a career in computers.

When I was in my 1st year into the Transition program and it was not only a utter waste of time, but it was not living up to the hype. One of Transitions teachers told me," You got a ESE diploma right?" I said,"Yes" and then she told me," haha welcome to your new future greeter boy." I can also remember that in my time in the Transition program it felt like elementary school they did not train us to be adults, but just warehousing us it was mostly black and brown males in this program with the females. In the back of my mind I was saying," What the fuck did I fucking signed up for and this was bullshit." So basically after 4 fucking years at G High are you telling me when I graduated I was on the ESE diploma route? I do not fucking believe this shit I felt betrayed, lied to, deceived, and heart-broken. Also I remember my 1st meeting with the teachers of the program and I said I wanted out of shitty ass program and they said," No sorry Johnny be a good little black boy and accept your fate as is."  I told them," Fuck you I am going to get my GED and get an career in computers with or without your goddamn support." Before I go on one of the Transitions teacher assistants a brotha told me," You do not belong here you need to get your GED and get the fuck out of this crazy program."  he also told me," These Transitions teachers all they care about is their fucking paychecks and their pension plans damn the(brown and black)kids." I ask him,"Why are you telling me this you could lose your job?" brotha man said," I dont care about this job, but when I first saw you, you got alot of untapped potential to go to college and make something of your life."

I had to be covert or under the radar because if the Transition teachers found out that I was getting my GED they will do anything in their power to tried to dissuade and discouraged me from achieving this path. My plan was attend Transitions, by day and go to GED program by night it was hard at first learning complex math equations was more then what I am bargained for, but the brotha man encouraged me to pass the GED test to go on to Saint Petersburg College(SPC) and he helped me under the radar by helping me improving on my math skills like my algebra,fractions, basic geometry, and etc. on the eve of my GED test on December of 2008 the Transitions teachers found out my plan, but by then I was in the GED program for them to do anything so they fired the brotha man and my mentor from his job and expelled me from the Transitions program for good. In the GED exam I was nervous as hell and I was having those what ifs in my stomach, but GOD ease my nervousness and I was calm cool and collected. To be honest with everyone I thought I was going to make it this far I thought I was going to be a statistic of black or brown males in ESE program across America being mis-educated and mis-guided and being robbed of my potential. So I took the GED exam and It was hard as fucked and I was struggling to passed it so when my test proctor did he saw that I was not giving up and he said," Time is up." I realize that only GOD can delivered me from this and passed this test.

1 month later I have received my scores back from GED headquarters in Tallahassee,FL in January of 2009 and I was shocked as hell I only came up short Get this by 10 points and the letter states that I have an option to take it again with any subject I chose and I chose my strongest subject Social Studies(SS) I have about an 510 out of 800 the retake was in 2 weeks and I had no time to waste I MAN UP and studied my ass off on SS sleepless nights and all day studying in the cold Florida air. On the 1st week of February of 2009 I was in the GED testing room and I have dominated the SS test with ease and 2 weeks later in February  I have received my GED test scores, but this time I have saw my award the official GED high school diploma attached with my test scores. My mind was singing," FREEDOM!!!!!!!!! FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!." I have finally escape from the ESE program for good and  now my life as an SPC College student begin from here on out. In other words, I have given the ESE and the teachers the middle finger.


Now I am currently enrolled at SPC and it took me almost 4 years to get my AA degree, but I am happy I have gotten the degree last year in 2013 and I am almost have my Bachelors of Applied Science degree in Technology Management and get this with no student loan debts I will be graduating with a clean ass slate and start my career as a IT Security Analyst or a Software programmer.  I love computers and I feel like I can make a different in the IT/Tech Industry.  I am glad that I am surrounded by positive positive and professors with industry experience and connecting for me to network so that when I graduate from SPC I will be able to get started in my tech career. If it wasn't for GOD,my parents, coaches,mentors, and true friends who supported me since day one. I will not be where I am at in my college career without GOD and this has been my long road for me to travel and it is just the beginning. I heard recently that the same Transitions teachers who stop my progress and growth are now laid off and unemployed and cannot paid their bills. PTEC Transitions program has been shut down for permanently due to lacked of funding and behavior problems from the students and it goes to show you that GOD does not like ugly. I am glad that the transitions program and being in Special ED is now permanently close for good in my life.



Okay everyone my next blog will be called," Hackers." Take care this is John"Tech Head" McSwain Signing out and once again sorry for the foul language once again.